My day

So today was an ok day. Kaylie is sick which is terrible for me, but what can i do. She's been acting really strange today. I know something is wrong when she doesn't want to sleep alone and wants someone to sleep with her. She's not a cuddler persay. I just hope she gets better soon. I have to try to sneak Cheyanne out of the house to go to work tomorrow.

I made homemade chicken noodle soup. To my surprise it came out really good. First time i made it all from scratch the way i did. I am impressed.

Lets see... About my post the other day on Christian, after talking to my dad we came to the conclusion that while he's in our care he will wear a diaper everywhere we go from the moment he comes to my house. Still no taking him to Oklahoma with me. I am alittle disappointed with his mom for not sticking with the plan and then compromising with him. He called her bluff and won. But she has to do what she feels is best for them. I don't think any less of her for not following through, just sorta wish she would have. Yes, i spoke to her about it and heard what she said and i get her reason for it, but he said he wasn't wearing it to school and he didn't. So i don't really know.... I do feel better however, that he's not just doing it at my house, even though thats bad to say. I know its not us if that makes any sense at all.

I am starting to question who i can trust and who i can't trust as well. Not going to get into a lot of detail about it, but just unsure about it.

Yesterday, donnie and i went out on a date night. Long needed. It was nice, we went to Chuy's (i so know i'm spelling that wrong) and then went to the movies and saw Law Abiding Citizens. It was actually a really good movie. I was impressed. But i did tell him that i wanted to go see the new Sandra Bullock movie...Can't remember what its called, but i adore her so i want to see it. But it was nice going out with him and just me.

Lets see that really all i have to say tonight. Fixing to go to bed, have to get up and go to work in the morning...

Its been awhile since i have posted

So let's see whats been going on in my life. I have started working at my church. Its been great. I actually enjoy my job, and i love the fact that i'm able to get out and talk to people. Its been nice, however today i missed, i believe i have pink eye. I will find out tomorrow when i go see my doctor.

Cheyanne is at my moms. I miss her, i talked to her today and she told me "mommy i'm having fun at papa's and grandma's" I almost wanted to cry. I love that little girl, and the more she's gone the more i miss her. When she's here she drives me insane, but man when she's gone i want her back. But its all good.

As far as Donnie and i go, we went on a vacation at the beginning of the month. It was good, and well needed. We bonded over that weekend. Though at times we still fight here and there, its not like it use to. I have a new found love for him, that i was starting to lose. It's been great, but i will say that, he tells me that he loves me and that he goes out of his way for me from, the house and doing what i want to outside. Things he told me he wouldn't do when he was married the first time. Though we live in an OLD house and its outdated, we are slowly fixing it. We are fixing to pour concrete in the car port and then make a drive way, from there we are going to do an electric fence which i am glad, because he never had that in his plan. We are then going to expand our house to make more rooms and a larger bathroom, living room, kitchen, and make a dining room as well as build more rooms. So i'm happy. He does go far and beyond to make me happy. I sit back and think sometimes, maybe it wasn't all him, it was me to. I'm stubborn and i refuse to budge on my thoughts or wants, but its not fair to him either. So i have realized i need to stop and let him be the man sometimes... Its a work, but after talking to him and seeing the differences and talking about our marriage i see that he does love me. So its worth the fight. He has only really loved one other girl in his life and that was his high school sweetheart whom he thought he was going to marry. But things happen. I use to think about what my life would be like and all i can say is thank you Lord, for allowing him to go and file for divorce from his first wife, so that it opened a door for him and I to be meet and get married. Because she wanted to work it out, but he didn't. So thank you Lord for that.

I have sorta faded from the Lord, which driving home from my mom's i cried a lot, i realized that God is first and i need to put Him first again. I started to sorta put Him on the back burner. I love Jesus with all my heart, but other things were consuming me, and i started to turn back to my old ways. Through prayer and crying and thinking, i know that God understands and he forgives me. It brings me back to Natalie Grants song I won't be moved. That song was me to the dot. And the Lord has shown me the light so many times, and though he will never turn His back on me, it hurts Him when i do it to Him. So that will stop and i will follow him 100% once again. What made me sorta stray i have yet to figure it out, actually i know what it is, but that will not be discussed right now.

My baby Kaylie is almost 16 months and she's doing sooo good.

My doctor Appointment

So i went to my OBGYN just because the last time i had a menstrual cycle was April or May of 2007. I had my daughter on Feb. 1 , 2008 and i breast feed for 7 months. So its been about 5 months and i figured since i'm not pregnant something isn't right with me. So anyways... I went in and told them and they informed me that i more then likely have Ovarian Cysts of some kind. So they drew alot of blood from me to run test. They also gave me pills to attempt to get my cycle started once again. However, if i can't get a menstrual cycle then i am not able to have more kids. My husband and i have 2 kids and wanted to try once more for a boy. But that may not be possible. All i can think is this is the second time in my life that i have been told i may not be able to have a baby. All i can ask is why God? But i have faith that we will fix me. Its just a scary thing.

So then they told me that my blood pressure was high. I asked her what it was and she told me it was 140/102 YIKES!!!! So then she told me i needed to see my family doctor on that... Because that 102 is a silent killer. And i knew that so i called my family doctor and got in that evening for that and also because coccyx has been hurting for about 6 months and no matter what my doctor does it doesn't get better.

So i went in to see my doctor and when he took my blood pressure it had went down. I dont' remember what it was to be honest... I know the bottom number was 90 something. So he told me for 2 weeks he wants me to check my blood pressure before he puts me on meds. But if the top number gets to 200 and the bottom number gets to 120 i need to come in that day no exceptions and that i am to tell them he said to get me in.

He also scheduled me a MRI for my coccyx to see if its fractured. Just because the extent and the length of the pain. So i am hoping that they can find something or do something to heal me. The pain is just unbareable.