Tomorrow is the day

So tomorrow is March 1st. I am soo stressed out over the 31 days of staying home and not going out and spending money. I am wondering if i'm going to be able to do it. But at least i will get out to go to church thats always a plus right??? Well, i will start blogging tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Why I believe

So i am sitting here thinking about my life, and why i am glad that i am a woman with love for the Lord Jesus Christ. People have asked my why do i believe in God? So i figured i would go a head and answer that question.

I believe in God for so many reason. Starting with the beginning, when i was 17 years old i was told my a doctor that i would NEVER be able to have kids, and that if i was to become pregnant i would miscarry. So hey, ok i can't have kids so who cares what i do right? So i met my ex husband who was abusive in every way from physical, mental, emotional and sexual. I hated him more then life itself. So after we divorced i got into a relationship for 3 years and that went absolutely no where. So i figured God, God who? I partied my butt off and i did things that i look back now and think i should be dead. But no i'm alive and kicking it. So then after almost losing it all because i became an alcholic. I was asked to become a call girl and actually was almost willing to do it, but i didn't and i moved to Houston, TX.

While living here, i met friends and calmed down, was working and doing me. Still not following God, i was tired of living a life of sin. Meeting guys and that not going anywhere. So i finally told God look, i know i have not followed you, you tell me what to do. The next day i was playing dominoes on yahoo and some guy IM'd me. I thought here we go again another pervert trying to get his. So i was rude to him. Not knowing this was going to be the guy i married. He would IM and i would call him names and talk crap to him. At times i was nice to him as well. But even though i was a complete Bitch to him he still talked to me, and i was very open with him. We finally decided to meet 2 or 3 months later. We met and had dinner and movies. He didn't try anything at all with me. He was the perfect gentleman. So we dated for awhile and got married a month or two later. Yes we dated for a very short period of time. To me he was God sent. So still not really following the Lord, i started reading the Bible and praying and told God that i married my soul mate and would love to one day have a child. Well, God answered that because in June i found out i was pregnant with my daughter. After years of unprotected sex and no pregnancy i was shocked that i was pregnant. So to me Cheyanne was my miracle baby, God's blessing to me to show that he did love me. So i started to attend church in 2006. And since then my life has not be perfect, but God is good and God is love. He has helped me through storms and tribulations. From my marriage to just me. I really think i should be dead or dying right now, but with God miracles are great.

So to me God is good and God does work in people's life, maybe not when you want Him to, but when he's ready. I love the Lord God with all my heart.

Fasting for 31 days

Well, my little ones went to the doctors yesterday and they are growing up so much. My babies are not babies anymore. Its sad, but yet good, it makes me want another one lol... That was a joke...

Well, i have sat here the last couple of days thinking about my wants and stuff and realizes that i need to make a change. So i am going to attempt to stay home for 30 days and just focus on the Lord and my family. I will go to church and i will go to the store to buy the things that i need. But i will not go and hang out with my friends or nothing. I am praying that i can do this. I guess you can say i'm fasting for 30 days. I am not starting this until March. So i may do it for 31 days since thats the number of days that month. I have to prepare myself for such isolation. I want to see if its me that allows the world to turn me against my beliefs or morals, of if it truely the people i hang out with. I have realized that alot of the times when its just me i am not as judgemental or anything, but when i get around some of my friends i am different. I am faster to judge and speak in a way that i know is wrong. But for some reason they bring out a side of me that i HATE. So i made the decision to see if its me or if i allow others to influence my negative attitude. If anyone dares to try this with me that would be nice to see what or how its going with you. I will blog about it every day.