So my daughter my precious daughter is finally walking. Its just a happy moment. My daughter who is fixing to be 3 started walking at 9 months so i though hey my second one would as well, but nope she started really walking at 11 months. Its ok though, she's her own person. She's just so precious and vocal. I mean vocal. LOL
So i have sat back and took a look at life and my marriage etc... I have realized that for the first 4 years of marriage it will be 4 years Wed. I have led a single life minus the cheating. I didn't talk to my husband about things finance wise and yet he did with me. Cause if he didn't i would get mad. I did what i wanted and he worked his butt off for me. So after long thoughts and prayers i realized that i am married to a really good man, and that alot of my issues was outside influence. My husband gives me the world and has never once told me NO. I am a stay at home mom and a student. I have never really thought of being a stay at home mom, but it was something we talked about and he felt like i should stay home and raise our children instead of a stranger at a day care. Since we can do it money wise, why work? So i agreed to do it. However, recently i have decided to look for a job, he's not happy about it, but i told him that i would work at a daycare so that way i'm there with the kids. So i have an interview Tuesday cross my fingers. I just need to get out. But he told me that i can always quit and if it puts pressure on us that i need to quit. So i agreed to that much. But back to the point, i have decided that i was going to make my marriage equal. 50/50 for the most part, but like my pastor said no marriage is 50/50 sometimes its 70/30 or 90/10 or sometimes its 100/0 just depends on the situation. Sometimes we have to give alittle more then the other because they are sick, or having a baby etc... I'm sure you guys get it.
Anyways, i'm off to mess with the kids and play with them... Thinking about going to the store just not sure yet...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Life as of today
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My second refused to crawl normally. She did more of like an army crawl with a skirt. Then two days before she turned one, she stood and took three steps. Fell down and did it again. Skipped right through the crawl. I too thought my first set the tense for what it would be like with the second. Wrong!
With what you said about your marriage. It is hard to understand sometimes that the team must be by effort of both parties. Yes sometimes you put in more and other times you put in less. But you still have to wake up every morning and make a choice. Do I choose to love my spouse and children and family today? Most of the time, it is not even known you are making that decision, because you get out of bed to get ready for your day. The things you do during the day describe your choice. Waking them up to get them ready for the day, feeding them, playing with them, talking to them. We don't realize it unless we think of it, but we make a choice everyday.
From talking to this "new" you, you are great at being a stay at home mom. I wish we were closer. I know what it feels like to want adult interaction. Find a way to do a girls night out with some friends from church. Take a break from the house and know who you are. Try to find time DAILY to do something for you. Just you. Not something for you to do for them - cook dinner without company in your kitchen or going to the store alone - but away from the kids.
I lost who I was in what I was, causing depression to start rearing its ugly head again. Remember who you are aside from a Wife, Mother, Student or whatever other titles you hold, is important. But similarly remember what you love being: Wife, Mother, Christian, Lover, Friend, etc.
Praying for you, sister.
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