My thoughts for today

So today was a day of bad, but yet good. Work was ok there for awhile, but some people have no clue how to talk to people. I think that if people understood that coming off as rude and mean doesn't make people listen to you, it actually makes them shut you out. But then again, some people have no clue and so all you can do is excuse their poor attitude.

I have also realized that my kids have tested me in so many ways. I love them more then life itself, but at times they can really try me. Especially Chey, i don't understand why she is soo mean to KK, i don't get it. I am working on the behavior of her and her sister, but its been hard. I often wonder what i could have done differently and then maybe things would be better. Some people know about Cheyanne's past and i'm wondering if this is why she's soo mean to KK and if thats why she just shuts herself down when she doesn't like what is being said to her or she reacts by hitting. I don't know.

As far as my faith goes, i have sorta slipped into a pit, and can't get out of it. It seems like my life is falling apart in some aspects, and i am blaming the wrong people. I haven't talked to God about it in awhile, though i talk to him, its about others and not me. I need to come back to the road that i was walking at one point where i leaned on God for everything. At that point life seemed soo easy and everything sorta just fell into place, but lately its like its going in every direction but where it should. So i need to take sometime out and just fall down and pray for help and guidance and get myself motivated to go to Bible study and church. I have just not been sooo motivated. We will see what happens.